💃 So, I took a little life pause to enjoy life after divorce 💔 with my daughter. We definitely deserved a trip like no other after the years of trauma and rebuilding our relationship and life. I needed time to NOT think 🤔 for a change. I actually let her plan 📝 and organize the trip mostly. Wow! 🤩 That was so unbelievably awesome 👏, and she did a fantastic job. 🏆
We traveled 🧳 to Rome, which is where my Dad’s family originated in Pisa, so it was fascinating, and… we held up The Leaning Tower 😂. We literally climbed Mt. Vesuvius 🏔️ and explored Pompeii. Then off to other parts of Italy 🇮🇹, France 🇫🇷, and Spain for a few weeks.
As I see 👀 and talk to other people all over the world 🌎…one thing rings true when I tell others that I am a divorce coach…they all say…in their own language…I wish I had you when I was going through my divorce 💔. Pain and trauma are universal!
On one of our tours in Barcelona, I was walking through the shady quadrant of town, and there was this little girl, maybe 4, in a pink shirt covered in snot and tears, just standing in the middle of the town square screaming and crying for her mom. 🧑 There were many faces passing by but no one was helping or paying attention as I looked around. No mom or dad to be found. No one caring or trying to comfort her except me! And there clearly was a language barrier as I kept holding out my hand and telling her it’s ok and I will help her find her mom. (I saw the movie Taken about a 100 times.) My daughter was calling my name because the tour group was leaving. But she knew I was not going to leave this child.
She was frozen in fear, unable to do anything but cry and start to choke from crying so hard. I know she heard me, but she was truly terrified! After what felt like a lifetime for her and about 5-10 minutes in reality, this group of Muslim women with a few other kids came over, and the little girl screamed “mom” and ran over. I looked at them and said, “Oh thank goodness. I was staying with her and trying to help her find you.” They just smiled and didn’t say a word to me. Said something to her and walked away. Happy ending for her…yes. Strange ending for me…yes. I was shocked they didn’t say anything to me. And we lost our tour group because they kept moving on with their life and I was lost. In the Raval, which is the high crime rate area in Barcelona we just learned about!
Of course, I can’t get this situation out of my head. I could relate to this lost and scared child in a sea of passersby’s. That was me during my marriage and divorce when things turned bad. I was screaming for help, and my mom, who clearly didn’t know how to handle it since no one in the family had been through a divorce. She said just let it to the Lord. Well, the Lord was on holiday when I was going through this some of the time, because I had to rely on myself and others also.
My only single point of contact and help was my attorney. Which is why most divorces cost so much. She has told me, I definitely don’t have time to coach or handle the emotional side of divorce and co-parenting. I handle the business side. And divorce is a business with emotions running high as money flies out the door.
Some of us freeze in fear and others ask for help and find solutions. And those are fluctuating back and forth as divorce turns sensible, educated, and even the most well-adapted person into a screaming and crying, with snot running down your face, child lost in the middle of the most unsafe and unknowing of surroundings. This is the reason I AM A DIVORCE COACH! I will not let my tribe scream, cry, or live in fear of their life or future as long as I can help navigate them through it.
Now that I’m back home 🏠, I’m ready to take this calling to a new level. There are others like us in the world 🌍 who are hurting, recovering, ❤️🩹 and don’t know where to turn when their life spirals out of control. But just like Katy Perry sings in “Roar,” I won’t let the fear hold me back anymore. I’ve been through the fire, and I’ve emerged stronger and more determined than ever. So, to anyone facing the storm of divorce or any other challenge, remember: you’ve got the eye of the tiger, a fighter, dancing through the fire 🔥. And you’re gonna hear me roar! 🐯💥
Melissa Lost in Barcelona
Lost in Barcelona